Twas the FF: U night before Chirstmas
by mischievious lil kitsune
Summary: Neko is back and has crossed the Christ poem Twas the Night before Chirstmas with FF: U plus humor! RnR please! I'll get back to FF: U Fairytales soon.
1. The Cast Call

Disclaimer: Do not own FF: U

* * *

Neko comes in wearing something similar to a Chinese dress but had a Santa style of it wearing a Santa hat with cat ears. "We're definitely going to have fun." Neko snickered and snapped her fingers and the cast of FF: U appear before her. 

"Welcome back everybody!" Neko greeted them. They all groaned.

"What the hell do you want us again?" Ai asked impatiently who was now looks a bit more mature and still was thanks to Neko.

"Let's just get this over with." Yu also in his teenage form like Ai said and turned to Neko. "Which Disney movie are you going to torture us this time?" he said and sighed.

"Nope, not this time." Neko just simply said and everyone gasped.

"Since Christmas is almost here and my favorite time of the year, I will do a demented fic of FF: U The night before Christmas!" Neko said with confidence. "And now I'll introduce the readers of the cast!"

"For the Parents are Lisa Pacifist and Kaze Kuroki!" Neko said proudly.

"How come not we're not playing the Parents?" Mary Hayakawa asked.

"Because you're going to do something else." Neko replied. "For the children I have the Earl and Pist."

"Why us?" They both yelled at me.

"Cause' I said so," Neko said with a sly smile. "For the reindeers we have Ai, Yu, Clear, Lou, Fabula, Crux, Cid, and Madoushi."

"Wait, what about Santa Claus?" Yu asked Neko.

"Easy, Kumo-chan will play Santa Claus, since he's the only one with white hair." Neko said grinning.

"And I get to dress you up in it Kumo-chan." Neko winked making Makenshi nervous.

"Hey! Don't try to seduce my ototo!" Madoushi yelled at me.

"That's ok, I'll just leave that to you!" Madoushi just fainted from what Neko said.

"Due to my laziness, you guys are going to get the props, I'll just do the scenery. OKIES! NOW GET INTO YOUR COSTUME!" Neko yelled doing her dramatic pose.

"This Story will never be the same again." Yu sighed and went to put on the reindeer outfit.


	2. What we all been waiting for!

Disclaimer: Get it through your thick heads! I DO NOT OWN FF: U

**WARNING: **Will cause' to make you laugh and maybe pee in your pants.

* * *

Neko comes in with the Santa Chinese dress and has the spotlight on her and starts reading from the script.

"'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house. Not a creature was stirring not even a mouse." Neko said while it showed a shot of Kaze in a brown bathrobe with buttons, Lisa in an orange bathrobe with a sash. While Pist and Earl in cute footsies pajamas, was playing in the middle of the living room.

"Go to bed you two." Kaze said in an unenthusiastic voice.

"NOOO! I WANNA PLAY SOME MORES! IWANN IWANNA IWANNA IWANNA IWANNA!" Both The Earl and Pist yelled.

"See what happens when you don't take birth control pills. Look what happened!" Kaze yelled at Lisa.

"KAZE YOU ASS!" Neko yelled and threw a chair at him and continued on with the story.

"The stockings were hung by the chimney with care," Neko said.

"Where are the stockings?" Kaze asked Neko.

"Well try to find some in the box here." Neko said as she threw the box full of props over to the scenery while hitting Pist in the head.

"HORRAY! THAT GIVES ME BONUS POINTS!" Neko yelled in victory while everyone sweatdropped.

Kaze went to the box but all he found was Neko's sweat socks, tube socks, fish nets, toesies socks,and then panty hoses. Embarrassed Kaze blushed. "Can you hang these up there?" Kaze asked Lisa.

"Ok fine, sheesh Kaze. They're just stockings." Lisa putting up the socks.

"Oh look now, the Black Wind is scared to put up some useless stuff." Pist said proudly.

"You try putting up Neko's socks." Kaze said holding it up to him. For a minute, Lisa fainted. And two minutes later, the Earl fainted.

"How come you aren't fainting!" Kaze yelled at Pist.

"Because I don't have a nose. The animators didn't even give me one." Pist said.

Kaze anime felled.

"Ok, in hopes that St. Nicholas would soon be there." Neko continued. "The children were all snug in their beds." Neko was interrupted while Kaze was forcing The Earl and Pist to go to bed, by carrying them and strapping them in bed.

"While visions sugar-plums danced in their heads." Neko said.

"This is making me hungry again! OSCHA! GET ME SOME FOOD!" Earl yelled.

"Oh hush up!" Neko yelled right back at him. Andcontinued on with the story.

"And mamma in her kerchief, and I in my cap." Neko said.

Lisa and Kaze both walked over to the box and found what they weren't looking for.

"Wow, this bandana is really ugly, and the only one I could find." Lisa said and put on the bandana.

"You have to be kidding me." Kaze said with a look holding up a baseball cap that says "Foxy Grandpa".

"Come on, it'll look nice on you." Lisa said and put on the cap on Kaze's head and turned it sideways.

"There, now don't you feel better?" Lisa asked in a cheerful voice.

"Just shoot me." Kaze murmured.

"Had just settled our brains for a long winter's nap." Neko said.

"WE HAVE TO GET IN BED TOGETHER!" Kaze and Lisa both yelling at Neko blushing tomato red.

"Whoa, I never thought you guys would never get together." Ai said. "Naughty, naughty!" she said in a cheerful voice.

Neko hit her in the head with a frying pan. "IT'S NOT LIKE THAT! Just sit on the bed for now. And Ai, get into your reindeer costume." Neko ordered.

"Do I really have to wear that costume?" Ai asked hoping that Neko would say no.

"Yes, now go." Neko said with Ai stomping to the girls' dressing room.

Lisa and Kaze just sat on the side of the bed blushing.

"When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter." Neko said as everyone hear a crash.

"When I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter." Neko said and waited.

And waited………

And waited…………….

And waited……………………….

And waited...

"KAZE THAT'S YOUR CUE!" Neko yelled at him and threw a shoe at him.

"Ow ok! Well here goes nothing." Kaze jumps from the bed landing in the middle of the room with a rug that was covered by a hole which made poor Kaze fall.

"AHHHHHHHHH!" Kaze yelled while Neko was laughing.

"That was just random, oh well." Neko said and snapped her fingers which brought Kaze up back to the scenery.

"Away to the window I flew like a flash." Neko said while Kaze pathetically tries to flap his arms to fly to the windows but ends up falling on his face.

"I didn't mean it literally!" Neko yelled as Kaze stood back up and went over to the big window.

"Tore open the shutter," Neko said as Kaze tore up the drapes on the windows. "I said tore open, not tore up!" Neko yelled and went back to the fic.

"Threw up the sash." Neko said while Kaze's jaw dropped.

"Do I have to do it?" Kaze asked Neko.

"Yes, you have to." Neko said.

Kaze sighed and walked over Lisa. "Can I borrow your sash?" Kaze asked and blushed.

Lisa clutched her robe "For what?" she asked.

"My robe has buttons." Kaze said.

Lisa sighed and took off the sash and her robe accidentally opened reveling a black lacy bra and underwear. Lisa was replied with wolf whistles and catcalls.

"LISA! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO WEAR CLOTHES UNDER THE ROBE!" Neko yelled at her.

"I was?" she said.

"Oy! Just cover that up." Neko said and sighed. "Oh yea, Kaze you still haven't threw up the sash."

"Fine I'll do it but I don't like it." Kaze said and sighed. He put the sash in his mouth and makes gagging noises.

"EWWWWWWWW!" Everyone said while they were trying not to throw up too.

"THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT!" Neko yelled.

"Well you could've told me! YUCK!" Kaze yelled back.

"The moon on the breast of new fallen snow." Neko said and Kaze stuck his head out the window while Neko's friends dumps piles and piles of fake snow on him and had a huge anger mark on his head.

"Gave a lustre midday to objects below. When what to my wondering eye should appear." Kaze looked down seeing everyone throw more snow at him.

"Are you ok Kaze?" Lisa asked and has the robe still open, Kaze had a blood fountain come out of his nose.

"But a miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer." Neko said until she heard a sudden thump on top of the house. "What was that?" she asked.

Kaze looked up at the window saw what happened. "Makenshi just crashed everyone on top of the roof." Kaze said and took his head out of the window.

"With a little old driver, so lively, and quick. I knew in a moment it was St. Nick." Neko said and Makenshi fell through chimney in his Mystarians uniform with a Santa hat on.

"Where's your costume?" Lisa asked Makenshi.

"Neko is going to dress me up." Makenshi groaned.

"And he whistled and shouted and called them by name." Neko said and threw a paper airplane to Makenshi with the Reindeer's name on it.

"Um…ok, now Dasher!" Makenshi said and Yu came out blushing in his reindeer costume. "Do I really have wear this?" Yu asked.

"Yes ya do!" Neko said back.

"Now, Dancer!" Makenshi said as Clear came out too with the same costume blushing.

"Now Prancer and Vixen!" Makenshi shouted. And waited again…………………..

"AI! LOU! THAT'S YOUR CUE!" Neko yelled at them.

"Fine, but I still hate this costume Neko!" Ai yelled as she and Lou came out.

All the boys started to do wolf whistles and catcalls at their outfits were just a brown short tube top reviling their bellies with a tight mini-skirt wearing black boots wearing antlers headbands.

Yu and Clear had nosebleeds.

"Um….uh on Comet, on Cupid!" Makenshi said as Fabula and Crux came out with the same outfit also.

"GAH! NEKO! HOW COME YOU MADE THEM WEAR THOSE!" Makenshi yelled at Neko.

"Well, I thought they were cute." Neko said in an innocenet voice.

"Whatever. On Donder!" Cid came out with the same reindeer outfit as the boys.

"Boy, how did I stoop so low to this?" he asked himself.

"Since you became the cast of FF: U!" Neko replied to him with a smile.

"And Blitzen!" Makenshi called out and Madoushi was being dragged out by Ai and Lou.

"COME ON! YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO SUFFER WITH US TOO!" Ai yelled at him.

"NO! I DON'T WANT PEOPLE TO SEE ME IN THIS REDICULUS OUTFIT!" Madoushi yelled back at them.

"COME ON! YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO ANYWAY!" Lou yelled too.

"NOO!" Madoushi yelled until Ai and Lou pulled out Madoushi wearing a tight shirt reveling his belly with a skirt with black boots.

"NII-SAMA! WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO YOU!" Makenshi ran over to his brother.

"First they drugged me, and the next thing I know. I'm in this ridiculous outfit!" He said.

"Well they did a pretty good job on you Nii-sama, you're cuter then ever!" Makenshi said with an innocent smile.

"You're enjoying this aren't you?" He asked in an annoying tone.

"Yep!" He smiled weakly and got bonked on the head by his brother.

"HAHAHAHAHAAAA! Makenshi please do the next two lines." Neko said trying to recover from laughing so hard.

"To the top of the porch!" Makenshi said as all the reindeer try to run up the walls.

"To the top of the wall!" He said and the reindeers ran into the middle and crashed into each other.

"Now, dash away, dash away, dash away all!" Makenshi said as he and the other reindeers ran away from the stage.

"AHHHH! MY BORROWED ANIME CHARACTERS ARE RUNNING AWAY!" Neko said and ran after them. "We'll be back after these massages!" Neko ran and took her gun.

* * *

There was a shot of Kaze massaging Lisa. And that's it. Told ya it was a massage. I know, stupid joke...

* * *

"Sorry for the technical difficulties folks, we'll now continue the story." Neko said and cleared her throat.

"As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly, when they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky. . ." Neko heard a crash.

"What was that?" she asked.

"Everyone ran into a glass wall." Said Makenshi pointing everyone whose face are smashed onto the door.

Neko sighed and went back to the fic.

"So up to the house-top the courses they flew, with the sleigh full of toys, and Saint Nicolas too. And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof. The prancing and pawing of each little hoof." Neko said. Then there was a lot of stomping on the roof.

"What is going on up there?" Lisa asked.

"Don't know, and I don't want to find out." Neko said with a bad image in her mind, she quickly shook the image out of her head.

"As I drew my head and was turning around." Neko said.

Kaze spin around quickly until he fell down and had swirly eyes.

"You didn't have to do that ya know! Lisa, can you wake him up?" Neko asked her rubbing her forehead.

"Umm….uh ok." Lisa and walked over to unconscious Kaze, then starts kissing him passionately.

Meanwhile on the Roof

"AHHHHHHH! HELP ME! MY NII-SAMA IS GOING TO KILL ME!" Makenshi yelled and screamed while Madoushi was still in his "reindeer" costume (if you would even call it that) and ran with his sword after his poor little brother.

"I'M GOING TO GET YOU WHAT YOU SAID EARLIER!" Madoushi said and kept running after his little brother.

"HELP! CHILD ABUSE! CHILD ABUSE!" Makenshi said as he tries to avoid Madoushi's heavy Maken swings.

"YOU'RE NOT EVEN A CHILD ANYMORE OTOTO!" He yelled and almost got Makenshi.

Makenshi and Madoushi stopped, and then Makenshi thought for a minute then said

"MAN ABUSE! MAN ABUSE! MAN ABUSE!" and ran for his life.The others were sitting down and watching the two borthers fight. But Ai was leaning towards more to Clear making him blush. Lou noticed something wasn't right.

"What's wrong?" Ai asks.

"My Kaze sense is tingling." She said and jumped in through the window and saw was Lisa was doing to Kaze.

You know where this is going, so why should I do this?

Lou gasped in horror "YOU WHORE! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING TO MY KAZE-SAMA?" Lou yelled in rage.

Lisa stopped kissing him "I'M TRYING TO SAVE HIM YOU LITTLE WHORE SO GET OUT OF MY WAY!" Lisa said stepping away from a blushing red Kaze.

"MAKE ME!"

"All right, then. FIGHT!"

Then Lisa and Lou were fighting and doing what they could do to disadvantage the other one. Neko sighed. She walked over to them and casted her spell.

"Stop!" she said and froze Lou and Lisa who were going to kill each other in half of a second.

"Oh come on! You just stopped a good cat fight, with skimpy outfits!" Kaze whined.

"Oh hush up you freakin' perv." Neko said.

She carried frozen Lou up to the roof and threw her up there. Then took Lisa and threw on the bed.

"Go!" Neko said and the two were moving but accidentally fell on their faces.

"Ok, back to the story!" she said and continued narrating.

"Down the chimney came with St. Nick with a bound." Neko said as Makenshi fell on his butt from the chimney.

"Alright, since I don't feel like dressing up Makenshi, I'll have to use plan B." Neko sighed and took a deep breath.

"MAAAAADOOOUUUUUUSSSSHIIIIIII!" She yelled loud that the glass wall broke. Then Madoushi came down the chimney.

"OW! Neko do you have to yell so loud!" He asked Neko in rage.

"Do you want to get back at you ototo?" Neko asked him in a sly smile.

"What's the catch?" He asked sighing as he was about to take out his wallet.

"No, not the money this time. But I'll take it anway!" Neko took the wallet from Madoushi and stuck it in her backpack

"You're going to dress up your ototo in front of everybody. Just do what I tell you to. Ok?" Neko said as she winked.

"Ok." He said as he made a sly smile as he corned poor Makenshi.

"Ready Madoushi? He was dressed all in fur from his head to his foot." Neko said.

Madoushi suddenly got a dead lion fur and smacked it on top of Makenshi.

"Ow! Hey!" Makenshi said as soon as he got his head out.

"And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot." Neko narrated as she snickered a little. Madoushi took a bucket of ashes and poured it on Makenshi.

"A bundle of toys he had flung on his back." Neko said. Madoushi took a sack full of ready-to-kill-Elmo and put it on Makenshi's back making him look like a peddler.

"And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack." Neko said.

"And I feel like one!" Makenshi yelled as he ached his back.

"His eyes, how they twinkled! His dimples, how merry!" Neko said with excitement. Madoushi took a spotlight and flashed it at Makenshi's eyes to make it look like it was sparkling.

"AHHH! THE LIGHT! IT BURNS!" Makenshi yelled.

Then Madoushi took Neko's make-up kit and took out an eye-liner pencil and poked two dark spots on his cheeks.

"His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry." Neko said as she was trying to stop herself laughing by plugging her nose.

Then Madoushi took some paint and painted Makenshi's face with roses on each side, then took whip cream and put it on his brother's nose and put the cherry on top of it.

"His droll mouth was drawn up like a bow." Neko said still plugging her nose to keep from laughing.

Madoushi took Neko's eye liner and drew a bow on Makenshi's mouth.

"And his chin was as white as the snow." Neko said trying to calm herself down.

Madoushi took the whip cream and sprayed it all over Makenshi's face trying to make it look like a beard.

"The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth, and the smoke, it encircled his head like a wreath." Neko narrated.

Madoushi took a pipe and stuck it in Makenshi's mouth, and took a wreath and put it on Makenshi's head.

"He had a broad face and a little round belly." Neko said.

Madoushi took a board and was about to hit Makenshi with it. "NO! BROAD! NOT BOARD YOU IDIOT!" Neko yelled at him.

"Awww..." Madoushi whined and threw it.

Madoushi took some pillows and stuffed it under Makenshi's shirt, until he fell on his back and wasn't able to keep balance.

"That shook, when he laughed like a bowl full of jelly." Neko said.

"I'm not laughing!" Makenshi whined at Neko.

"He was chubby and plump-a right jolly old elf. And I laughed at him, in spite of myself." Neko said waiting for her chaos to emerge.

"I-was-alre-dy-lau-gh-ing-thr-ou-gh-thi-s-Wh-ite-Clo-ud-yo-u-u-u-reea-ll-y-sto-oop-ed-do-wn!" Kaze said in between laughs. Makenshi was ready to get out his Maken.

"A wink of his eye, and a twist of his head." Neko said, as Makenshi winked and just turned his head.

"Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread." Neko said.

"I think I do." Kaze said nervously looking at the Maken.

"He spoke not a word but went straight to his work, and he filled all the stockings and turned with a jerked." Neko said.

Makenshi tried to get up then ended up falling over the Christmas tree and ripped up the stockings off the chimney. He slowly got up and tried to turned but ended up falling over again.

"And laying a finger aside of his nose." Neko said as she turned to look at Makenshi who just fell to the ground laughing her head off. While everyone just looked and said "GROSSS!" or "EWWW!" And if you want to know why, because…..Makenshi put his finger up his nose.

"Ototo-chan she said aside not up it." Madoushi said taking the finger out of his nose and placing it aside of his nose sighing.

"That was just gross right there.He sprang to his sleigh." Neko said as she pulled a lever which made a trap that Makenshi standing on popped him through the roof and onto the sleigh.

"To his team he gave a whistle. And away the flew like the down of a thistle." Neko said watching everyone float into the air due to Neko's magic.

"But I heard him exclaim, ere they drove out of sight." Neko said.

"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!" Makenshi said as he crashed everyone into the house set.

"There, now wasn't that fun?" Neko said annoyingly.

"No, it wasn't." Ai said in an aggravated mood.

"Oh well, off to the wrap party!" Neko said as she races towards the buffet.

"HAPPY HOLIDAYS FROM FF: U AND NEKO!" Everyone said.

* * *

How'd you like it! Well I might make a Wrap Party Chapter due to my laziness. Just review and tell me! I promise you guys I'll be doing the FF: U Fariytales as soon as its Winter brake! So don't worry. Nothing else to report Ja nee! 


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